Yeah, it's here. What seemed to be something that was so far away is now here and about to happen. I can't believe we're all leaving for outreach. It feels like it was yesterday that I was dropping my bags on my bed and getting ready to head to the beach with people I had just met. it feels like it was just yesterday that my world was getting rocked because I felt like, for the first time, I heard God's voice right when I asked him a question. It feels like just yesterday that I was sending out an email telling people where I'm going for outreach. Crazy. Now it's here. Wow.
In a few minutes we will see the first team leave. Team Cambodia! Then later tonight we see off a team to the middle east, Orange County, and New York. It's so crazy to think that I won't be seeing any of them for the next three months. Some of my best friends are on those teams and It's going to be really weird not hanging out with them or seeing them until debrief week. Crazy.
Tomorrow we see off team Nepal in the morning and then team South Africa in the evening.
Friday we see Mozambique go as well as our team to Africa! Wooo! So stoked!
Ending with team Japan going out on Saturday.
Please pray for these teams for the next three months! Crazy and radical things are going to happen to, in, and through them!!!
These past three months have been absolutely life changing. I feel like my life has been wrecked in every way imaginable. So many things about me have changed. My outlook on my life and everyone in it has completely shifted. My appreciation for people has grown so much it's hard to even describe. The things that I value are completely changed. It's crazy.
If I'm being completely honest with you, I came out here to DTS with the mindset that I would have a good time. I planned on working on my relationship with God while hanging out in hawaii, to then go out to somewhere in the world and do a missions trip like I've been doing every year since I was in 7th grade. I planned on this just being a generic experience that would put me onto a spiritual high and then I guess I hoped it would continue once I went back to San Jose. Man, was I wrong.
Being out here has completely ruined me. When I say ruined, I don't mean in a bad way. Nor do I mean in a condemning sort of way. It has ruined me in a way that challenges me to take a serious look at my life and everything about it. It has challenged me to question what I consider to be important. It has challenged me to look at where I spend my time. It has challenged me to question what I think is worth fighting for. It has challenged me to look at people and not myself.
It has challenged me to look at my relationship with God.
Yeah, my relationship with God. Oh how that phrase is just thrown around like it's the word "like" being used by someone from California. Oh how it's used in every day language in the church (not meaning the building, meaning Christians as a whole) to describe that 10 minute reading session right before bed. Oh how it's used as a convenience to not do some stuff because it's 'wrong' and to do others. Man, how much of a lie this has been. (All of these examples are ways that I thought of MY relationship with God. Not condemning or trying to judge anyone else here at all. This, afterall, is my blog so I use it to think out loud. haha)
Man, have I been rocked. As Christians we claim to believe that God sent his son, Jesus, to die for us so we could have a personal relationship with Him. God is relational. God seriously loves us and wants to engage in a relationship with us. The problem is, we don't let him. We don't let him love us. Loving us doesn't mean forgiving us when we screw up. It doesn't mean being there for us when things are hard. It doesn't mean being a lifeline when we really need him. Of course, he is all of these things. He does forgive us. He is there for us when we need him and things are hard. It's just that it's not the only thing he does. He wants to have a real relationship with us.
If I meet someone and I talk to them once a week for like 10 minutes, then we don't have a relationship. Of course, I know them and they know me. We can say "ya, i know them" and likewise they can say the same of us. But is that really a relationship? Of course not. A real relationship means that you are constantly there with them. It means that there is such closeness on both sides of it that there's a constant growing. It's not a one way thing. If we spent all of our energy pursuing a relationship with someone, and they didn't offer jack, then it wouldn't be a relationship. We would be wasting our time and ultimately (most likely) give up on it.
If we would do this, then why do we totally do this to God? I'm so glad he doesn't get tired of pursuing me, because I would have been hopeless a long time ago. That's part of the glory of God. He doesn't stop pursuing you. He wants to have a relationship with you with everything he is. He wants to pour crazy blessings on you. He wants to have such a close relationship with us that he pours his heart out to us. That he shares dreams that he has. That he shares what he wants to be done with us on a daily basis. Of course, to have this happen there's something we have to do too. We gotta let God love us like this.
Man, I definitely planned on just posting about the teams leaving and asking you to pray for them. Thank you Holy Spirit for taking control of my hands and writing all of this haha. So good!
I've been radically rocked by the simplicity of God's love. I challenge you to think about it as well.
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