Remember When I Said I Was Loosely Holding Onto My Plans? ...Yeah, Things Change.

So the last time that I sent out a real update I said I was picking something and holding onto it loosely for now. Well, yeah, sometimes plans like to change, which makes life way more exciting!

When I first got back from Kona I said that there were a million and a half opportunities and I didn't know which one to do. One of those opportunities was to go out to Nashville and do YWAM's School of Worship. It's an opportunity that hasn't left my mind since Kona (before outreach). It's something that's kept coming back up even through all of the wrestling and decision making, and I think that is what I am going to do in this next season of life!

I would love to go into some detail to explain what SOW (School of Worship, so much easier to type than the whole name) is. So here ya go!

Although YWAM is a missions organization, it also doubles as a university. University of the Nations provides courses in many subjects. Out in Kona there's a counseling degree, the school of worship, bible degrees, etc. SOW is the music portion. It isn't a program where I am a declared music major, it is more training in the specific area. SOW is geared towards worship and encountering the Lord through worship.

Via the SOW page: (More information at: SOW)

"The School of Worship is a 5 month, encounter-driven training course that is set on knowing the Spirit of Truth so that we can worship Him in spirit and truth. As we come to encounter Him in a real and intimate way, both corporately and individually, we behold His glory (his ultimate beauty and magnificence) and therefore are transformed from one glorious state to another. We also learn from the biblical history of worship to get the foundations and then work with the Lord for new revelation on how to use those foundations in today's church, and world."

  Some of the topics that we cover are:

• Cultivating Intimacy with God
• The Work of Holy Spirit in Worship
• Pursuing Personal Freedom
• Character Development of a Worshipper
• Understanding the Biblical & Historical Context & Basis of Worship
• The Marriage of Worship and Intercession
• The Prophetic Nature and Role of the Worship Ministry
• Musicianship and Song-writing
• Developing Leadership & Team Dynamics
• The Grace of Worship in Spiritual Warfare
• The Role of Worship in Reaching the Nations
• The Role of the Supernatural in Worship

SOW runs a lot like the DTS that I just went through. I will head out to Nashville in June for about 12 weeks and then go on outreach for 8 weeks to return in November. The outreach location is not final yet, but I will update when that comes out! I'm sure it's going to be Legend---wait for it---DAIRY!

This is the fun part. I love fundraising.

The cost of this school is quite a bit less than my DTS was. If you recall, my DTS cost $4,000 for the lecture phase (first 3 months) and then another $6,000(ish) for the outreach (second 3 months).

The cost of SOW is $2,990 for the lecture phase and the cost of outreach is to be announced when the location is determined. That is quite a bit less!

I would like to invite you to support me in this adventure. The Lord did amazing things over the past 6 months and I am really excited to see what God is going to do next.

My first request is that you would please keep me in your prayers. God does amazing things when we talk to him, so if you could keep me and this adventure in your prayers it would mean so much to me!

My second request is that you would prayerfully consider supporting me financially! It has meant so much to me to have all of your support thus far and I hope you will consider continuing to support me! I have made it extremely simple to donate this time (No envelopes, no checks, nothing!). On my blog there is a spiffy little "donate" button on the right side. If you would like to support me financially you can do so there! Please put "SOW" as a memo. Unfortunately, I don't think that they are tax deductable. I am extremely sorry, I will look into it to confirm that they're not but I'm pretty sure they're not.

God's going to do crazy amazing things over this next chapter of my life. I am extremely excited to see what goes down. I would love it if you would partner with me in this!

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me! You can email me, facebook me, or we can even skype! I'd love to share more of what's on my heart with this! Also, you can join a spiffy new facebook group I made! I will be doing quick little updates on it while still sending out the big ones on here. The group can be found at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/110743549060231/

So much love for all of you! More updates to come!

Josh

Why?

So pretty much, Jesus woke me up in the middle of the night tonight with some melodies on my mind. I tried to go back to sleep for about 45 minutes. No luck. So this is what came out.

Before I share the lyrics (they're pretty raw and not sugar coated) I want to give a little backstory on why this is on my heart. So here goes...

On Friday we were given the privilege of leading worship for an Easter service with one of the local Christian schools. We chose to sing the song "in Christ alone." god ruined me with that song. He smacked me in the face with the question "do you actually know what you're singing?"

Think about it.

"in CHRIST alone...my hope is found."

First off..how many times does it go more like this in my life...

"in Christ (most of the time)...my hope is found."

Or

"in Christ (sometimes)...my hope is found."

Or take this line:

"what heights of love, what depths of peace. When fears are stilled, when strivings cease."

Has anyone ever actually read that line? It says "when STRIVINGS CEASE."

Then why does it seem like our worship is full of striving? Like its a production? Like if we can only nail that solo, or get those perfect harmonies, or like if we get the perfect sound mix then it will somehow be 'good worship.'

Or from another song:

We Sang the song "amazing love." I dont know how well known it is but the chorus goes like this:

"amazing love, how can it be?
That you my king would die for me.
Amazing love, I know it's true.
And it's my joy to honor you.
In all I do, I honor you."

Why is that a normal worship song? Why? Seriously...why? Think about what the song is saying.

Its asking how can it be that Jesus, our KING, died for us. It's claiming to be amazing. It's declaring that it's our joy to honor him in everything we do. How many of us actually believe that? How many of us claim that it's hard to love people? How many of us say that at times we don't feel like following Jesus because it's easier to do something else? But I thought it was our honor to follow him? That's what we just sang in the song at least...

No, I'm not questioning my faith. No, I'm not questioning why I worship Jesus. This song is simply getting raw and asking why we don't worship Jesus.

This isn't a call to guilt, it's a cry for authenticity...both from my heart as well as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Well, that got a lot longer than I originally planned...so here it is:

Title: why?

Verse 1:
Why do I sing
Why do i worship
Why do I call out
Things I don't mean
What do I mean?

Why do I close my eyes
Why do I kneel down
Why do I cry
Why
Oh why?

chorus:
I'm tired of all these empty words.
Hallow surrender to your will
I open my mouth and speak these lies.
Like my life is yours.
Or
I've given it up it's not for me.
How can I stand here and simply sing
It's yours.
Is it yours?

Verse 2:
Why do I come?
Why do I lift up my hands
And pretend to honor
You god?
Are you God?

Why do I vow
To serve you or
Why do I bow
To pretend that you're worthy
Of something that you're oh so worthy of?

chorus 2:
A life lived for you that's not my own.
A heart given up for you to show
Your love through
Your life through
and
I've given it up, my everything
I'll give anything to glorify your name
Because you deserve it
Oh you so deserve it.



Still finishing it. That's just a heart piece from me...I don't want it to come off as anything more than a cry of my heart simply asking why. Absolutely no judgement, because it's me asking myself out loud more than anything.